Still there is something in me which keeps on creeping up
like I wanna more, I wanna more, give me more, give me more. I think daily, what is that I am lacking in my life. I
should concentrate on what I have than what I should have ideally. There is
feeling of uncertainty in certainty, a feeling of dissatisfaction settled in
the corner of my mind. I have read somewhere this is due to the discrepancy
between expectations and reality (though this reality is usually distorted).
7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty to be Happier and Less
Anxious
1. Replace expectations with plans.
2. Prepare for different possibilities.
3. Become a feeling observer.
4. Get confident about your coping and adapting skills.
5. Utilize stress reduction techniques preemptively.
6. Focus on what you can control.
“Deep down we’ve all constructed an idea of who we ‘should’
be: how we should look, act, think, feel and be regarded by others.”Not meeting
these “shoulds” can have a negative impact on self-esteem. “When we fail to
match those standards, one response may be frustration, anger or even hatred
for the parts of ourselves that don’t measure up,”
The only constant in life is that it will involve change;
and try as you may to control the future, sometimes all you can do is trust
that whatever happens, you can adapt and make the best of it.
When you form expectations, you’re setting yourself up for
disappointment. You can guide your tomorrow, but you can’t control the exact
outcome. If you expect the worst, you’ll probably feel too negative and
closed-minded to notice and seize opportunities. If you expect the best, you’ll
create a vision that’s hard to live up to.
Instead of expecting the future to give you something
specific, focus on what you’ll do to create what you want to experience.
The most difficult part of uncertainty, at least for me, is
the inability to plan and feel in control.
.
It isn’t the uncertainty that bothers me; it’s my tendency
to get lost in my feelings about it.
The second I start indulging fear, I get lost in a cycle of
reactionary thoughts. “I might be lonely” leads to “How will I meet people?”
Before you know it, I’ve somehow traveled all the way to “What if I become a
recluse, start overeating, and develop restless leg syndrome from sitting too
much—alone—on my couch?”
Okay, so that’s a slight exaggeration. The point is that
speculation leads to feelings, which can lead to more speculation and then more
feelings. It helps me to stop the cycle by recognizing the feeling—in that
case, fear—and the reminding myself: I can’t possibly predict the future, but I
can help create it by fostering positive feelings about the possibilities.
This isn’t the same as “expect the worst.” It’s more about
assuring yourself that you can handle any difficulty that might come.
Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” I can
adjust myself with the situation to get adapted.
If you’re dealing with uncertainty, you probably have stress
in your body, even if it’s not at the forefront of your thoughts in this exact
moment. Over time, that body stress affects blood pressure, blood sugar, muscle
tension, cholesterol level, breathing rate, and every organ in your body.
Incorporate stress reduction techniques into your day,
ideally meditation, even if just five to ten minutes daily. Finding your center
will help you feel better prepared to tackle whatever comes your way.
Oftentimes, we overlook the little things we can do to make
life easier while obsessing about the big things we can’t do.
Practice mindfulness
When you obsess about a tomorrow you can't control, you’re
too busy judging what hasn’t happened yet to fully experience what’s happening
right now. Instead of noticing and appreciating the beauty in the moment, you
get trapped in a fear-driven thought cycle about the potential for discomfort
down the line.
While meditation is the best way to become more mindful, it
isn’t the only approach. Sometimes it helps me to take an inventory of what’s
good in today. So I can’t yet plan for tomorrow—that doesn’t have to be a bad
thing. That means I can spend today doing other things, like writing, reading,
relaxing in the sun, and connecting with people I love.
If ever you think you’ve created a controllable, predictable
life for yourself, you can rest assured that’s an illusion. Nothing stays the
same forever.
The uncertainty can keep you up at night, obsessing over
ways to protect yourself from anything that might go wrong. Or it can motivate
you to practice acceptance, live in the moment, and embrace the adventure of
living.
What’s coming tomorrow might not be easy—or it might fulfill
you in ways you didn’t know to imagine. What’s certain is that it will come and
when it gets here, you’ll respond to it, learn from it, and move into another
tomorrow full of endless possibilities...
